CHOOSE RANT

Title:   Anticipation Day:    June 28th, 1999 Author:  Ruiner				… And class, our topic for today is Anticipation. The pros and cons of that beast that summons emotions for events that have not yet occurred. A state of mind that gives such hope, yet for me at least, can cause such grief. Oddly enough, as I write this, I sit here in anticipation of a few things. Some are not so certain, as is the way of the future. And others are concrete, yet exactly what will happen is still unknown. Man was truly not meant to know the future, but we can look forward to it with all of our hearts. I guess my big hang up with anticipation is when things don't go as planned, as is so often the case. My big case study would be pertaining to women and dates. I for one like to plan out my approach on women, deciding exactly what I'll say in hopes of making that good impression and setting up a date. It'd be great if I was more impetuous and asking women out on a spur of the moment deal, but that's not me. It's not my style. So I plot and plan, and I look forward to going out with whomever holds my affections at the time. There's the problem. I don't know if the girl will even accept my proposal, but I'm thinking about how the date will go. Frequently the situation will turn out poorly, with some circumstance preventing our destined meeting, and it hurts. Some say it's positive thinking, to anticipate what will be. In the back of my mind, I'm sure I agree. But things like rejection in the case of dates, or having plans fall through can be so aggravating. It can suck the life right out of your day. But the other options? Having a negative outlook like some people I know? I used to be one of those, always the naysayer, never expecting the best to happen. And as cynical as it sounds, there are benefits. It's rarely unexpected when things don't go your way and when they do, hey what a wonderful surprise. But I just can't seem to regain that mentality, and I don't notice the loss. Last year, for instance, the friends and I found a sweet deal on a house that would have allowed five of us to move in together, give or take a girlfriend or two. We concocted our plans and even began to pack. I was eager to have this happen, and had told many people of my impending move. And the deal fell through. It was no fault of ours, and in fact things weren't that concrete at the start because we had to rely on people we didn't know. So I had to go through and tell all those people who asked that I wasn't moving, and that things didn't work out. Had I not been looking forward to it, there would have been less comments and no need to explain. Do I learn my lesson? Not really. I have that upbeat attitude that things are going to work out for me, and I can't say it's a bad thing. I like being positive. Yes, it hurt like Hades the last time I was turned down for something even if there was no bad intent on anyone's part. And it will hurt the next time, I'm sure. Heck, my hands are aching from so many crossed fingers for good luck. I have a few things on the backburner now that would make life so grand if they pan out, but I'm trying really hard not to speak about them or base my actions towards them. They are just roads into the future - whether they're available to me I don't know. One thing I do know I'm looking forward to is Origins '99. The fellas and I leave in a few days once again to Columbus, Ohio. It will be nice to have a vacation, and I love these conventions. I'm not sure if I will reprise me ranting role about the con this year, but I think it would be cool. And since I'm trying really hard to put something up each week now, that most likely will be my next rant. Should you look forward to it? Well… B.Mooney