CHOOSE RANT

Title:   Lottery Fever Day:    May 9th, 2000 Author:  Ruiner				There is a current disease roaming around my area in full force. It has infected nearly everyone. Symptoms include thinning of wallets, extreme rationalization, and a strong urge to travel like lemmings across the state border. Yes, I'm talking about the dreaded plague known as lottery fever. Current jackpot for the Lotto right now is 325 million dollars. Estimated jackpot before the night's drawing is expected to be 350 million. It's already the largest jackpot every held in the U.S. (the previous being 267 million). And it is causing the idiots to file out in mass droves. The truly sad part is, I don't live in Virginia or the other two states participating in the lottery drawing. No, I'm on the northern edge of North Carolina, right there on the NC - Va border. We're so close, we have crappy little areas called 'Virgilina' nearby. Places that couldn't have their own identity, so they named themselves by mixing the two names. And everybody is driving across state to contribute to Virginia's wealth and get their chance to win the largest award ever. It's not just that this lottery is so large. It's partially due to the fact that North Carolina doesn't have a lottery system. There are people in my area who have a daily or weekly ritual of driving across state lines and purchasing X amount of tickets to have their shot at winning. My father is one of them. And I can't say that I fault these people. It would be mind-boggling to actually win a million dollars, let alone 350 million. There are some funny things you hear, though. " I don't play unless it gets higher than (some amount, usually thirty million)." Now why is that? You don't feel that getting three million dollars is worth your time? Or is it that you only want to play when the odds are astronomically low, even lower than usual, of you winning? Perhaps it's just because you have to be part of the crowd and since everyone else under the sun is buying tickets… I'm not really harshing on the lottery goers though. I've got someone out there purchasing me a ticket or two. Why not? You have to tempt fate every now and then. And really, what if stars and planets were to align and my number was chosen amongst all those others? Provided that I didn't have a heart attack right there on the spot, I could think of a few things I'd have to do. I had to think about this some, because this topic is raging around my office right now. First and foremost, I'd give those creditors of mine the big middle finger and pay off my debt. I may have bad credit, but I'm a multi-millionaire damnit. And I guess I'd quit my job. No big loss there. I would work the two-week notice however (since it takes some time to get your money and affairs in order). And I don't really want to leave the people I work with in the lurch, even though they say they'd be gone in heartbeat. Also, I'd like to see how sexy I become to some of those coworkers. Me and the roommates would have to move. I'm thinking a condo or some decent house in Durham or Raleigh until my new dream home can be completed. That way, Kelly won't think she's travelling into the 'Hood' when she comes to visit. I, of course, would help the parents out. Finish paying on the house, pay for dad's truck, maybe get mom a nice Cadillac since she loves them so. I might have to keep dad working, however. Mom's sanity is worth that much to me. A boat. Yeah. I always thought yachts were so cliché among the rich, but I really love the ocean. It's a great feeling for me to be out there, completely surrounded by water with no sign of land. That kind of peace and tranquility is hard for me to come by. At least I'd have lots more time to go to the gym. I'd need it, since I know I'd be hitting every expensive restaurant there is. I can see me now. 350 million dollars, and 350 pounds. No, the gym would be a must. I'd probably make some discrete additions to my friends' bank accounts to help them out. You get enough to pay off that car and get another one. You have enough to actually go through college and not have to work those part-time jobs. You, you get your sponging ways away from me. Go win your own lottery! Hah hah. And there would be women, for sure. That part would probably piss me off to no end. "Ah, so I'm a lot sexier when I'm rolling in cash. Thank you very much. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out." But I'd have to do something productive with me life. Sure, there would be the mandatory travel and playing around. But I have to work at something. Being a lazy slob is not my bag, even if I'm a filthy rich slob. Maybe try to develop one of those web design businesses, even though it's getting to be commonplace. Or look into that idea some friends once had about opening a hobby / comic store. Maybe bankroll something like that. Or hey, I could do something really lame and spend my days e*trading! Eight bucks a trade ba-by! Or I could make some lame-ass commercials. Yeah… B.Mooney