CHOOSE RANT

Title:   First and Ten - A Review Day:    June 7th, 1999 Author:  Ruiner				I figured, since some of those Rants I've posted are tremendously old, and I've just got this nice site going rather well, I'd do something special. I've decided to take the first ten rants and update them, since some rather prevalent information has gone on that affects my outlooks for said topics. It also goes to show that Ruiner's life alternates between stagnant and rapid change (just like his websites). So without further adieu… #1. Role-Playing Games. Okay, not a lot of change on my outlook of games. I still love 'em. I still play them, and occasionally run them. I've gotten into this thing recently called LARPs (which I mentioned briefly in the Rant on Origins), and now I'm enjoying it. Hilarious, since we used to poke fun at the oddball LARPers. Now we realize, maybe they were having some fun. And the other thing of interest: Columbine had nothing to do with RPGs!!! As if I needed to state that, but with the downlook on the gothic style, trenchcoats, and many other things that have been entertwined with the games, I felt the need. So sue me. #2. Living Life. Well, not a lot of change on this philosophy. Except for the fact that I'm not really adhering to it. Days go by, and I'm still just poking along. Luckily we've had no big losses to make me reflect on it. I think this theory should apply to relationships, i.e. romantic ones as well. Have as much fun with the significant other from day one on. Cos' she/he might up and leave you hanging (and doesn't that just bite?). #3. My Apathy. Hmm, no better on this one. My outlook on life is still pretty good, but that apathy creeps in. I don't want to admit how long I've had this domain purchased and not put any real pages up. You'd think that I would have cracked down once I made that giant step, jumping forward with new web design gusto. Admittedly, I've had lots of computer problems to bog me down. Now, that's all behind me and I have a strict schedule to adhere to of updates and design schemes. Maybe I should hire Arawn as taskmaster to keep me going. Hmm. #4. Year of Fire. Well obviously this has changed, because that was two years ago. Could '98 have had a title? The Year of … Nothing Memorable. Yeah, there were some things. Artie and family moved from Roxboro to Durham, and that has rearranged his life considerably. Spencer and Jenn got pregnant (and now have a wonderful boy Julian). And Brian escaped from Best Buy (ack, the horror!) and returned to the field of medical billing. All the web design classes for naught, for now. Plans fell through for a group move, but it looks as though things are rearranging now, with certain people moving out and others moving in places. We're approaching the dreaded Y2K (and man, I get tired of that freaking abbreviation - I like two-thousand). We've still got over a year left before the actual new Millenium, but everyone is freaking out. Maybe I'll rant about the general stupidity of all that soon enough. #5. Letting Go. I think I've done okay on that. Still no serious girlfriends in my life to replace those others, but I'm so far distanced now they barely touch my mind. I've had a couple of 'encounters', I guess you would say. Fun, intimate, but nothing lasting, nothing I could grab ahold of. Sure, I've got new prospects, but don't I always? Isn't there always some girl to act as target for my romantic interests? Updates as far as some of my women? Well, I only have the one. Alyssa did indeed get married after that last rant. And I ran into her at the end of this past year and she told me some interesting news. She's pregnant. Let me say that it threw me for an immediate loop. I was over her, I entertained no thoughts of getting her back. But hearing her very happy and that she was expecting just affected me in an odd way. I had to bolt out of the place where we ran into each other. A trifle embarrassing because in hindsight, I'm very happy for her. It was just an odd thing to be faced with I guess. #6. Web Aesthetics. I honestly wonder if people are starting to get the hint? With wondrous tutors out there like Joe Burns from HtmlGoodies and those two wacked out guys from Web Pages That Suck, I doth believe that style has a chance. Not to say that I use the best styles on mine, but I use what I like and something that everyone should be able to deal with. Considering I'm cooking my own graphics, that's a huge achievement. I'm even being considerate to those using 640 x 480 resolutions on their screens. Originally I had wanted to stray from that, but a quick survey of people I knew and I realized that I was being a prick about it. So I will make do for the masses. I mean, sure there is a measure of self-gratitude in all this, but I do this for others. So I should cater to the others. It's easy to forget that at times. #7. Origins '97. Ah, Origins. Me and the crew of course returned for Origins '98, and soon enough we'll be flying in to Columbus for Origins '99. Last years was cool because myself, Raymond, and Artie all decided to run games at that convention. The games weren't phenomenal, but there was a feeling of accomplishment resulting from the act. And we LARPed again, which was cool. The slackers from NOIR didn't show, so this huge LARP we had planned for was totally shot, screwing up our schedule. It was fortuitous though, because we ended up in a World of Darkness LARP run by Metagaming, Inc. It was a blast, and the precursor to all the LARPs I'm involved with now. On other issues, Andon Unlimited, the goons who run the Con, seem to have massively dropped the ball this year. First off, they up the deadlines for making the Pre-Registration booklet, so none of us sign up to run games. I was kind of looking forward to it, but oh well… And, they never got our Pre-Reg books to us. I could understand perhaps one, maybe even two of our books not arriving. But all six of them? I'm thinking maybe they missed North Carolina on the mailer or something. Slackers. Anyways, we leave in less than a month and it should be a blast once more. It'll be interesting because we'll have two first time flyers aboard. Heh heh, *wicked grin*. #8. Writing. I actually had to look this one up to see what I was whining about. Ah, my lack of staying power for writing. The faltering of my creativity. Well, you can kiss that goodbye! Sure, I haven't done as I wanted with the webpages, but I've been writing my butt off. First and foremost, there is The Novel. No idea yet for a title, but I've got around 115 pages done. Of course, they've been done for about three months, so I should once again crack down on that. I'll reuse the computer excuse here, heh. And I'm on a pretty cool mailing list that's nothing really but writing exercises and reviews of others. A good group in all called ComeWrite. For those interested, you can email me and I can point you in the right direction. So my creativity is going. I just need to focus it in the right direction. Honestly I think the book has a lot of promise. It's just the ancient question of whether or not I can finish it. #9. Betrayal. Heh heh. Ah yes, Ashley. Can't remember if I was trying to protect names or anything, but who cares about her name? Not I, said the fly. I could lie and say I'm not bitter, but I am. Still I am open-minded. Apparently, Ash hooked up with some guy who was a little more off his rocker than she was. They talked of marriage and things as such. But then towards the end of last year, he schiz'ed out and disappeared. I don't remember all of the details because it involves her, but she got the raw end of the deal. He eventually came back, but it was no picnic. And I, being an occasional humanitarian, told our mutual contact that I felt sorry for her. I imagine that it sucks to have everything in order for a wedding and then the person go beserk on you. But as I said, they're back and the last I heard she thinks she's possessed or something. What a spastic wench. =) #10. Where I Stand. Wow, what a good note to end on. At that point I was unemployed but happy with the classes I was taking. Too bad they didn't help a whole lot (I was familiar with the 'beginner concepts', and it's not like that netted me a design job or anything). But I'm back in a stable job. Sure I'm questing for that elusive design job, but I've figured out that I need to crack down on all of my skills. Got books to learn Java. Got Cold Fusion to play with. Bought myself a domain to work with and have something to display to potential employers. It's just gonna take time and a good deal of initiative on my part. But I tell you, I will find that job, overcoming my handicap of being degree-less (not quite as cool as degreaseless). There are plenty of them out there, but they all seem to be wanting crack-smoking qualifications. Then there are others that don't seem as troubling. I know I'm in one of the high-tech capitals here, but that's fine. Let those guys meet the expectations of some, and I'll find someone willing to take a chance on someone who wants to learn the crafts. An apprentice sorceror of web design. Now that's a neat idea. In retrospect, I'm honestly glad I've written these over the years. I've always been a journal person, but I have the same bad habits with those as I did with pages. And here, I serve to humor, and to make you think just a tad. And I can be opinionated as hell. It's my domain. Who would dare challenge me here? =) B.Mooney